Just by hearing the word heartbreak we practically experience the pain again. That terrible feeling when you’re entire world seems to collapse. You can’t breathe, nor sleep or eat. The only thing you want is for things to go back to the way they were. When you’ve never been through this depressing period you’re probably laughing right now. After all, there are worse things that can happen. But let’s all agree on the fact that the temporary perception of not being loved just hurts as hell.

The different stages of grief

The “funny” thing about heartbreaks is that you get used to them. The first time you think you’re gonna die but by the third time you know which different stages you’ll have to go through. First there’s disbelief, followed by mental pain and heavy crying jags. Step by step things go a little bit better till you cross him or her at a moment you didn’t expect it. After a whole month of not having checked the other person’s social media channels, you decide to go through all the Instagram and Facebook posts. You feel worse afterwards and need yet again a week to recover. Then you decide the time has come to meet up again and accidentally you end up in bed together. It just all felt so familiar… But nothing changes and you’ll feel bad again another few days. And so the story continues till that specific point you realize the worst part is over.

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Why it just didn’t work out

After the pain and the crying you always start wondering why things didn’t work out. Was it you or the other person? What have you done wrong? Could you have done something differently? Is it time create a alter ego because apparently you’re not that interesting? Should you lose weight or go to the gym? Do you need a new wardrobe or go to the hairdresser?

Well… guess what? The answer actually is pretty simple, it just wasn’t meant to be. At first, when you’re in love, the hormones are taking over and everything is just great. In the spur of the moment you might not see the other person as he or she truly is. Love always puts a thick filter on your true emotions. But than you really start to get to know one another. And in general not all personalities are a good long-term match. You might be great together at some point. But a happily ever after relationship requires two individuals that are more than great together. One person might realize this sooner than the other and this causes the heartbreak. So don’t waste any time on wondering why. Sometimes life is just full of surprises, both good and bad ones. See it as a story that wasn’t yours to write and a beginning of an entire new chapter.

How to avoid a heartbreak

A common saying tells us “better safe than sorry”. And in some cases it might be a smart decision to take wise proverbs into account. But you also have to learn in life and not every experience has to be positive. Most of the time you learn more out of the bad instead of the good situations. And when you never take any risk, life might get really boring.

The only advise we can give you is that it’s truly important to get to know yourself first. How will you ever know if another person is a match when you have no idea who you are? And by getting to know we mean you have to dig deep. What do you want, what do you like and dislike, what are your strengths and weaknesses? Don’t forget to answer honestly, you won’t get any further by lying to yourself.

When you’re a very sensitive individual and the other doesn’t get those kind of emotions, having a healthy relationship will become tough in the long run. Even though you have the same taste in music, movies and the sex is great. You will feel terribly misunderstood after a while. Being a great couple is like a puzzle, there are quite a few pieces that need to match. And if you don’t know what type of person you essentially are, how will you ever find out who will truly complete you? And if you don’t know in which direction you want to go in life, how to build a future together?

So if you know from the start who you are and what you want, it will become easier to make choices concerning your love life. You might avoid setting all your chances on a long-term relationship with that hot guy or cute girl you’re pathologically in love with. Sometimes you just need to manage the expectations and let a fling be a fling before you have to go through the stages of a heartbreak all over again.

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One final tip

When you’re suffering a heartbreak right now: just feel sad for a while, it’s completely normal. And hold on to the thought that what needs to happen will happen. Eventually things will be just fine, it just might take a while. So whether you’ll meet someone new or you get back together, at this specific moment there are no answers to that question. So just try to enjoy spending time with the other people you love. Because never forget there’s just one type of relationship.

Photo credits: Unsplash, Adamevenevenadam