No this isn’t a review of the blockbuster that came out in 2000. This article is our way to have a serious conversation about the #metoo tsunami.
Since the Harvey Weinstein scandal finally saw the daylight after having spent many years in the dark corridors of Hollywood, it’s like Pandora’s Box has been opened. Women around the world saw this as an opportunity to finally speak up about what they tried to forget for many years, using the hashtag #metoo. People asked themselves the question on social media “why now”? We rather think of it as “why not now”. If these women wouldn’t have been courageous enough to reveal their darkest secrets, we’d never evolve in the right direction. One where nobody should have to cope with sexual harassment.
What started as a hashtag for women to speak up about sexual assault, turned for some into a subject to make fun of. Instead of supporting this evolution (yay, women can finally talk for themselves after a few millennia) and understanding where it comes from, the victims are sometimes called attention whores and bitches. They probably asked for it themselves or acted in a provocative way.
Now, we know a thing or two about women… call it life experience. And yes, some definitely use their sexuality to get things done. But it’s not because a small percentage of the female population doesn’t mind to use these skills, that the overall majority has to be responsible. And this goes in both directions. It’s not because some men have never heard of boundaries that everyone is a bad guy.
Land of confusion
All of this led to a lot of confusion. On social media the question “What is still allowed?” popped up several times. If you know anything about standards and morals the answer to this question seems a little obvious. Asking this might even be the core of this problem. But hey, problems are there to be solved. So we tried to make a clear list about how to and how not to treat a woman.
1. Nobody is ever more or less important than you are. So never try to use your self-proclaimed “power” to force someone into a corner.
2. Never ask yourself “would I like this kind of behavior or not” because everyone is different when it comes to personal boundaries. The answer is just pretty simple. No equals no and yes equals yes.
3. If you cross a woman who’s wearing a revealing outfit, just buy a magazine to check out what’s trending on planet fashion. Some women are into clothing and like to wear the latest trends. Whether it’s a crop top, miniskirt or off-the-shoulders dress,… this is about fashion and not about you.
4. Of course, some women are well aware of which outfits do and don’t work to get a man’s attention. But wanting to have attention doesn’t mean an overload of pornographic text messages and someone camping in front of your door.
5. If a woman smiles at you on the streets this doesn’t mean “Grab my ass, please”. Sometimes people are just being kind.
6. Some women aren’t angels either. But even the devil doesn’t deserve the be sexually harassed.
7. Of course, hitting on a woman is still allowed. But when she’s not interested, she’s not interested and it’s time to move on.
8. Be well aware of the fact that there’s a difference between a compliment and a sexual comment. You can talk about sex all you want when you’re actually dating or in a relationship. At the workplace, it’s better to stick to a nice compliment and by this, we don’t mean “your ass looks great in that skirt”.
9. If a nice looking lady in the streets, at a bar or in a club has caught your attention, just go and have a chat to see if she’s interested. You don’t have to be shy to take your chance. But when she doesn’t show any sign of appreciation, don’t push it.
10. When still in doubt, ask yourself “What if this would be my daughter, sister or mother?” If a guy would approach them in the same way as I do now, would I consider this as appropriate?
Photo credits: What Women Want, Medium