Enfnts Terribles

Sometimes we find ourselves lost
between train tracks of empty thought.
Unsure of which track goes where –

if anywhere.

Sometimes I’m reminded
of the nights
I’ve spent,

craving.

Or reminded of all the could’ve-beens,
the almost-woulds /
the train just departed.
The deserted platform at midnight.

But today is different.
Today I celebrate.

I look into their eyes
as if I’m counting birds.

I can’t help but think:
I’m drowning in a flock of starlings.

The light is melting through the curtains,
into our tender room.
It’s the morning –

already.

again.

I awaken in a world that makes me feel
like I can’t be enough.
So a lover calling me

abundance

is what I clutch to.

There are many things
I thought I’d never say.
But I feel my lips wrestling out big words.
I realise that
I am their religion.

What I’m trying to say:

They love me.
I love them.

And yes, it’s true,
we’ve yet to learn to love ourselves –
but I’m sure that, for now,
this is plenty.

We felt nothing for a while

now we feel it all.

And it’s not just our love –
but their love too.

These strangers who became family /

who let me

into their broken backyards,
showed me a toolshed,

called love.

Gave me time,
supplies

and trust.

Talking about love had always been like trying
to describe a room –
I wasn’t allowed inside of.

I used to envy people who found love
hidden away in perfumed letters,
in candle lit dinners,
gentle wake-up tickling,

or the moon.

But now I understand
that love has nothing.

– to do with any
of those things.

Rather, love is that which gives
us the faith we need
to move beyond the limitations
put on us by others.

Love is that what gives us faith
that a more beautiful version
of ourselves

is within reach.

The faith
to transcendent
ourselves.

Liberation born from love.
Love born from liberty.

– by Emiel Lenaert