Enfnts Terribles

The last time we spoke, we had a shoot with you following your second EP Delidomia. How do you look back on that period?

It was very cool because everything was new for me then too. I was still a lot more naive back then, although I try to be a bit more so now because I think that’s a nice trait. I was still really insecure back then, and I didn’t expect to get all this attention. It was a little overwhelming at times, but it was also really fun. There’s not really anything I regret now.

Has your vision of music or making music in general changed in those three years?

Huge. I find myself wanting to write less complex stuff. Back then, I was really still in my school mentality with my jazz studies, where virtuosity was considered the pinnacle. I was then really a streamer who wanted to show that she could do it all, and that’s really out of it now. Now I have started listening intrinsically to what I want to do with my music and what I find musically interesting. The music I listen to is not necessarily difficult music. For me, it is now essential that music touches me and releases a feeling. That can be mega happy, sad, or sexy.

Did that happen throughout your writing process, or was that because we were cooped up at home during the pandemic?

It was because of the people I hung out with a lot and other genres I came in contact with. I was still in Ghent at the time, and then I went to study in Brussels. Once I was in Brussels, I also didn’t feel the need to strive to do super complex things. I also noticed that that was not appreciated at school. I graduated with Tristan, and the first thing they asked at my feedback moment was, “If you want to make music like that, why did you study jazz?” That was so painful. After all, I started studying because I felt misunderstood, and eight years later, it was still the same. It’s not that that discouraged me.

It’s the last few hours before your debut album Wellif comes out. What is it like to finally be able to let go of that album after such a long period of time?

It’s very healthy. Especially with the long waits due to vinyl production—a lot of albums have been finished for over a year. My album was finished and mastered in February, so I’ve been busy writing new music in the meantime. It’s a very schizophrenic thing because it doesn’t stop. I think the most fun in the world is making music, so I just keep doing that constantly. That’s why it also feels very healthy for me to finally be able to distance myself from that album. It’s no longer just mine.

Your music contains a certain dramaturgy, which we can also find in your music videos. Is that why you wanted to go so visually bombastic through your music?

Since Tristan is not the most accessible music, visually, I try to create a world in which the music is easier to place to understand the whole thing. In my daily life, I’m a bit dorky, and Jonas from Knack Focus ended up describing me as a lazy vamp, and I could totally relate to that. I think the vamp thing is such a fascinating thing because you can choose to do and then you are. That’s something that’s very much in me and that I’m sometimes too shy to express. So I think it’s super fun to create a safe space where I can be that.

So would you say you have two personalities?

I would even say I have seventeen. The album is also about the schizophrenia of all kinds of relationships where you have so many different personalities. That’s why I also work with wigs. I always used to think that with wigs you could completely transform, but actually, you end up looking the same. That is also the essence; you cannot hide behind yourself. I think that’s actually something very beautiful and also important to emphasize that it’s okay to have all these characters and that they are also equal to each other. I really learned to be vulnerable. I never used to talk about my insecurities, and that has completely changed now.

Is that why it maybe helped to write the album and put that mirror in front of yourself?

Good question. I think going into therapy is already a big step because sometimes it’s dangerous when you’re stuck in your own pattern. With “Hellballad”, I had written the whole instrumental, but I didn’t know what my feeling was about the song textually. I had a conversation with a friend and then started crying really hard. I then got some kind of insight, which made me go home with an idea. Sometimes your brain stops your heart from daring to speak when really you have to dare to listen. Sometimes it goes faster, and sometimes slower. Being solitary has its advantages and disadvantages.

Pictures by Alexander Popelier